How To Hire An Escort
originally published april 26 2021
Look, I get it. This can be nerve wracking. This can be time consuming. There are so many questions. What’s my type? What kind of experience am I looking for? What if I show up and this isn’t what I expected at all? What if I change my mind at the last possible second?
Whether you’re brand new to the scene, or an experienced client, the process can be a bit anxiety inducing. Many talented women before me have written thorough and excellent guides pertaining to the process of hiring an escort. Nothing I write here will be fully original or unique; while I haven’t read any other guides in a long time, I’m sure that their influences will show up as I write this. I am attempting to create my own guide instead of finding someone else’s to link so I can have an easily accessible and obvious resource on my site for potential clients.
Lately, I’ve seen an influx of inquiries that are incomplete, or inquiries that do about 90% of the work and then disappear when it comes to a few crucial pieces of information. In an effort to cut down on how much time I am wasting on these, I will link people to this guide if I feel it would be helpful for them. Some of these tips will be specific to me and how I run my business – not everyone does things the same way, so trying to apply these rules in a generalized way might get you into trouble. Without further ado: the guide.
How To Hire An Escort
Do your research. Is it your first time? Perhaps you’ve perused one of the many ad sites for a while and haven’t gotten the nerve up yet to send that initial email. These days, many escorts are on Twitter – taking the time to follow her and see what her personality is like is extremely helpful when you’re on the fence about hiring someone. It’s ok if it takes time to figure out what you really want, but I recommend sorting that out before you start reaching out. It becomes a huge time suck when the escort you’ve contacted now has to try to parse what you want out of an experience, or answer questions that are already answered on her ads or site. In my case, my requirements for screening, deposits, and rates are all prominently displayed on my ads and my site. Asking questions about these things shows me you did not take the time to do basic research before reaching out. As with any service you may try to book in daily life, professionals don’t have time to sit around and hold your hand because you simply refuse to read.
Try to answer as many questions on your own as you can before you ask. Related to above: much of the time, 90% of the questions you may have are already answered on an escort’s ad or site. I can’t count how many times I’ve had an inquiry directly from an ad site ask what my rates were even though my rates were listed next to my contact info on the aforementioned ad site. It shows a lack of attention being paid to the information that is readily apparent. Some common questions include:
How much for xyz time?
Do I really need to send my ID?
Do you accept (payment type that is not listed)?
Are you available now?
I don’t want to pay a deposit, can we book without it?
For me, these questions are answered on my site and ads. They clearly state that I need 24 hours advance notice to book, that screening is absolutely mandatory (and I’ve even provided some alternatives to IDs if you’re really averse), and my payment preferences are cash or CashApp. I do not accept appointments without a deposit. It becomes quite laborious to answer these questions every time, and even having to send a link to someone that answers the questions asked is tiring.
Don’t try to haggle/negotiate. Whether it’s rates or boundaries, asking a professional to change their policies for you is a big strike against you. If the person you want to see is out of your price range, trying to convince her to lower her rates for you makes you seem like a huge asshole that she probably does not want to see. When it comes to boundaries, this is just as important. For me, personally, I do not like to answer explicit questions before screening. However, after screening is out of the way, I am willing to answer questions pertaining to the experience; I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to have a specific thing you’re seeking in an experience, and I think it makes sense for you to want to make sure it’s an option before confirming a booking (showing up and learning at that moment that what you want isn’t offered does sound like a bummer). However, if once you ask the question and the answer is no, pushing her to change her mind isn’t going to get you anywhere. In this case, I suggest simply finding someone else who does offer what you’re looking for, or whose prices are within your budget. If you are fixated on one girl whose rates are too high for you, save your money. If you’ve ever saved money for a trip, a new TV, or a unique experience, you know how to do this already. Your instant gratification is not more important than a professional’s safety. She runs her business a certain way; just as you want to be respected for your processes, she wants to be respected for hers.
Screening. Is. Mandatory. Every escort does it differently. Some want less information, some want more. Some are satisfied with your name and phone number, some want references, some will accept nothing less than a selfie while you hold up your ID. There are so many ways to screen, so if one person is asking for something you don’t want to provide, simply find someone else who will accept what you’re offering. For me, I need proof that you are who you say you are. The easiest way to do this is by sending a social media link with a photo, as well as an ID. I also accept employment verification – you can send me an email from your employee email address (must be publicly listed so I can cross-reference), or add me on my LinkedIn and send a message (discrete and easy). Sending incomplete information will cause me to ask you for the information again, or simply ignoring your inquiry. One of the most important things to note is that it’s not just your ID that determines whether you “pass” screening; it’s how the process goes. I have gotten 15 emails in deep with someone who needed me to hold their hand and answer questions that were answered on my site, who “passed” screening in terms of sending their ID and information, who I then decided to not see because of how exhausting the ordeal was. It shows me that you aren’t paying attention, that you don’t value my time, and that you don’t respect me enough to trust the resources I’ve already provided. If you can’t show me basic respect and an ability to follow instructions via email, I don’t feel confident that you’ll be able to do this in session. That impacts my safety. The way you follow directions during the screening process is part of the screening process. If you are nervous about sharing your identity, I promise it’s not half as nerve-wracking as providing the service is. We are subject to violence, sexual assault, murder, and criminalization. We have to protect ourselves. We put ourselves at a huge risk every time we work. Speaking as a woman of small stature, my bodily safety is compromised when I have to meet strangers in any context, and especially in this line of work. I need to know who you are in case something happens to me. If you know you’re not a threat or a danger, then providing this info should be no problem, for I have no reason to out you or ruin your reputation if my safety hasn’t been compromised in session. Tanking my own reputation and career by coming after you is not a financially wise decision. Additionally, screening helps you and keeps you safe as well. Some clients are concerned about getting “scammed” or otherwise “duped.” Screening shows that the person you’re hiring deeply cares and puts work into her business. It shows that she is just as concerned about privacy and discretion as you are. A provider who screens has invested in her business, which means she is not likely to ruin everything she has worked hard for just for a quick buck.
Referrals. Referrals are specific to each escort. Some won’t accept them as screening, some won’t give them to clients, even if you were a gem in session. For those who are unfamiliar, a referral or reference is when an escort can verify that you are safe to see. For some, this is a primary screening method. An escort may ask for 2 or 3 references from other providers you’ve seen within a certain time frame as a form of verifying who you are. I do not accept references-only as screening. I only accept them in addition to other screening methods. I will happily give references for my clients, but I do this for the other providers, not for you. I value the safety of my colleagues over your immediate pleasure. I do ask that you ask me first before using me as a reference. It takes time out of my day to provide information, and it’s always an unpleasant surprise when a client I haven’t heard from in ages is throwing my name out left and right to book others without even checking in first. It’s a sign of respect. You wouldn’t use a reference for a job without asking first; think of this the same way.
Show up to your appointment prepared. Count your money three times to ensure it’s correct. Don’t ask her what you owe her in session, it’s crude. Follow whatever instructions she’s laid out for you. For me, this means: bring cash in an envelope, leave it in an obvious place when you arrive, and excuse yourself to freshen up in the bathroom. If you haven’t showered directly before arriving (I can tell!), I’ll ask you to shower before anything remotely sensual happens. If you are hosting, I ask that you leave the envelope in the bathroom so I can go freshen up when I arrive. If we are to meet in public, I ask that you bring a gift card, gift bag, or other discrete method of exchange (a book always delights me). For new clients, I send all of these instructions after the booking is confirmed and the deposit paid. For returning friends, I expect you to know the procedure. If you need a refresher, simply ask me to send the template information again, and I will gladly do so.
Don’t overstay your welcome. Nobody likes being a clock-watcher, but trying to get more time for free is a faux pas that may end with you being blacklisted from that escort’s personal roster. It also means you may not receive a good referral from her in the future, if that’s something she even offers.
Remember your humanity. Please do keep in mind that we are real live human beings and not sentient fuck dolls here to be harassed, used, and discarded. We want you to have a good time. We want this process to go smoothly and effortlessly. We want to feel that we are genuinely seen and respected, whether we are booking a short hour-long visit or spending the night together. Treat us as you would any woman you want to impress, and we will get along swimmingly.
Last notes:
I do not care about your appearance (as long as you are hygienic), age, race, weight, gender, sexuality, physical ability, hair color, etc. As long as you are kind and follow directions, I am always excited to meet you. Stating that you are a “fit, white, healthy male” does not eradicate the need to screen, and often does the opposite – trying to use your appearance or race to show me that you are “safe” tells me that you can’t read directions and will probably make too many assumptions in session. Simply tell me who you are, not what you are.
If I have sent you the link to this post, I expect you to read it in its entirety in order to continue communication. If I get the sense that you still aren’t paying attention, you will not be able to secure a booking.
I highly recommend you thoroughly read my site and the site of any escort you’re interested in before contacting her. Chances are, whatever you need to know is answered.
If you have an excessive amount of questions, or booking takes upwards of 5 emails, sending a tip is a respectful and kind gesture that may endear you to your chosen companion. I am much less aggravated on spending time answering questions when my time has been acknowledged and compensated for. Sending $100 is an appropriate amount to show me you aren’t trying to be disrespectful when sending more than the standard amount of communication.
I myself have hired a companion before, so I truly do understand the process and the feelings it brings up. If you want to read about it and how I navigated this, you can read more about it in this blog post.
Did you enjoy this post or find it helpful in your booking process? Tips are always appreciated :~)