about
In a world of ephemeral pleasures, I aim for things that last
like the dripping stems of your favorite red, the stain of ink on my fingers long after I’ve sealed the letter, the familiarity of a lover I’ve taken again and again — these moments linger on my skin, in my memory, which fades but never dissolves; the grain of film photos printed on thick paper, framed in vintage brass, oh, I want to keep you for as long as I can and not a second more,
or,
I wanna live forever till I die.
I hunger for some kind of permanence. But this world challenges me, to connect deeply and intimately, even more so because we know the goodbye is necessary. If our time be an enso, then know this: that parted lip is the gift of opportunity, a space for us to withdraw and return again, the beauty of our impermanence.
I’m an eternal student. Of lush encounters, pleasure, play. I want to practice as much as I can, getting my hands and feet dirty in the grass, letting my hair lighten in the sun while I float in the river, fool’s gold cascading through my fingers — a fool I am, for what greater pleasure is there than a beginner’s mind? I was put here to be curious, about you and your nature, about us, what we sound like when we come together, what language we form inbetween stolen glances over dinner. I’m an expert in yearning. A soft body craving other soft bodies. A dark pool of longing in my eyes, when I ask you where we’re going next.
You’ve booked a flight for us, you ache to leave me breathless, I am never subtle in my flirtations, we find something novel, somehow, despite our repeated meetings, somehow, more filthy & fabulous every time, the opposite of boring, something catches on our tongue, some unspeakable depravity we created together, and promised to keep to ourselves.
Despite my waxing poetic, I don’t take myself too seriously. I want to laugh together more than I want to debate, though I’ll accept friendly fire met with apologetic kisses. I’m soft at heart, wrapped in curvy little package that many find hard to approach — don’t worry, I only bite upon request. Truthfully, I like to coax people out of their shells, out of their minds and into their hearts — I want to touch you there, where you really begin, down to the anima.
I like decadent meals and multiple desserts, conversations over slow jazz and the city’s hum beneath us, deep bathtubs and marble showers, a pillowed chaise longue by a salt-water pool, soft leather coats & silk dresses, first edition books and Italian stationary, antique furniture, cowboy boots, big hands, neck nibbles, the first time waking up next to you.
Maybe it can’t last forever. But at least we have tonight.
